Emily, the internet pirate

it’s like a couple of hundred electrical appliances having a huge fight

Oh dear lord the last few days have been so busy: I haven’t had a second to sit down and write. So I’ll just make up for it and write now.

So I got up on Friday at 4:30, accidentally, because I had gone to bed so early and I only need about seven hours sleep. It’s kind of hard to find something to do at 4:30 in the morning, although looking back, it makes your day seem so much longer. Although that would have to mean compromising your evenings. I think I would personally choose to compromise my evenings. Is that sad?

Probably for an eighteen year old. So I decided to read some of my Buddha book and wait for my mum to wake. At around half six or so, she gets up, we have the usual morning cup of tea and that’s when the long wait started. The thing is, all of this may seem a bit dramatic, seeing as it’s only the internet. It’s just the fact that when I am at my mum’s house, I am literally, in the middle of nowhere. No one is around the corner to just pop in on – it’s a good half an hour each way to my two best friends here. Nightmare.

So the night before, luckily, I had spoken to Alice (one of my best friends here) to arrange to stay at hers the following night. It’s just, we didn’t actually arrange a time to meet. So, it gets to about 10 o’clock and I’ve been awake for a good five hours. I’m bored out of my brain (there’s only a certain amount of reading one can do) and I’m desperate to check my emails for possible university offers. I called Alice but I assumed that she was at work, and I texted her asking if I could go and sit outside her house and use her internet. It got to about 1 o’clock, and still no reply. So I just thought I would go, spend some time online and wait for her to get home – that’s all I would have been doing at home to entertain myself.

So off I go, having a good sing along to last summer’s music and trying not to kill myself around the tightest, mountainous road bends that are barely wide enough for one car (let alone two), I get to Alice’s about 30 minutes later. It’s quite a nice day out, a few clouds but otherwise not too bad. I get out my laptop and find her wifi network. Typing in the password.. La la la.. Invalid password. WHAT?! I thought I had remembered the password. Shit, I thought. What the hell am I going to do? Alice probably won’t be home until about 6! (I later found out that I was just getting the last two numbers muddled up). Then I had a brain wave: Her parents, who live just down the road, have no internet password. Thank god! I drove down the little path that leads to her parents’ house and I parked as close to the house as possible. Found the wifi, connecting.. Yes! Finally! I was back on the internet. So after about half an hour of sitting outside Alice’s parents’ house, being an internet pirate, I heard someone walking down the large, stone steps from the garden that leads to their front door.

Emily?! What are you doing in there!” Alice’s mum, Tracey laughed. (Alice’s mum is English and her father, Roland, is French. This is why she speaks to me in French and I speak to her in English). “I’m on the internet..” I said, very ashamed of myself. “There’s no internet at home and I was waiting for Alice to get home from work.” Tracey laughed again “Alice is in bed..” It turns out that Alice was actually in her house when I was sat outside, sleeping! Apparently she sleeps in every day until about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I found that out the hard way.

So Tracey then told me that she was going to show some English people around a house in a neighbouring town, as she is an estate agent, and asked if I’d like to come. “Er, yeah, sure!” I said and I jumped in her car. It was really lovely catching up with Alice’s mum, as we all used to be really good friends when I used to live here. We met the English people in a car park near the small winding track that lead up to their potential new home and they got in the car with us. I think they were slightly confused as to who I was and why I was there but they seemed friendly nevertheless. The house that we went to view was like three medium sized barns all attached together side by side. I thought that this place would have been an ideal place to shoot a horror film or photoshoot. There were floorboards missing and it was covered in dust and old debris; bricks, chairs, broken bedframes and lots of old wires that apparently used to be used for drying tobacco. I think that it’s important to look at these houses with an open mind, because that place could be a beautiful little house one day. However I wouldn’t even know where to start.

After we had shown them around the house and the wind was getting increasingly more bitter, we dropped them back off at the car park and made our way back to Alice’s. By this time, about 4 o’clock, Alice had decided to get out of bed and we had a nice cup of tea with her mum. English people will never change! I then sat around at Alice’s for a while, enjoying actually being with some friends, and we cooked super noodles and pasta. So French, right?

That evening we went to another English guy’s flat, a good friend (that I haven’t seen in ages) called Matt that I was at school with here, and we watched TV. Quite simply. We didn’t do a lot at all. I think that I’m starting to get more and more car sick as a passenger in Alice’s car. She’s not a bad driver or anything, she just drives quite fast and these local roads are, like I said, extremely narrow and windy.

I went to bed about 12, when I got in pretty much, and Alice and her boyfriend, John, stayed up for a bit longer. I was unaware of how long they actually stayed up. Apparently they were awake until half past five in the morning. Half past five? Why would you choose to stay up until half past five? That sounds like torture to me. So anyway, I wake up bright and early-ish at around 8 o’clock. John had told me that he wanted to get up at around 8 or 9 and to not worry about making too much noise. So, I got up, brushed my teeth and sat on my computer. An hour passed.. ‘Should I wake John up?’ I thought. ‘Na I’m sure that he’ll be getting up soon’ I reassured myself. He didn’t.

I was on Skype with Colm, who I am going to be staying with in New Zealand, for a good few hours. Delaying him leaving to go out to town to drink with his friends. It was really nice, and, because I’m quite (I say quite but I mean very) impatient, I called up Ebookers.com, nice bit of advertising again there, and I actually changed my flight and extended my stay in New Zealand by two weeks. So I’m now going for 6 weeks. I am literally wetting myself with excitement. It’s going to be so amazing. What I don’t understand is that it only cost me an extra £10 to change my flights. So in effect, I got an extra two weeks in New Zealand, for £10? Nice.

It got to about 12:30 and I decided that I was too bored of sitting downstairs (it had been about four and a half hours) and that maybe she didn’t mean to have overslept. Oh boy was I wrong. I think I was being groaned at for at least 2 hours before she started to wake up. The thing is, is that she promised me that, providing it was nice weather, which it was, we could have gone horse riding. I was so excited to go, it has literally been years since I had last gone. But, by the time she had woken up it was about 4 o’clock, and she said it was too late to go because of it getting dark. I was like “Yes well I have been awake since eight waiting for you to get out of bed! That’s hardly my fault!” Alas, no horseriding for me.

That evening Alice had said that in a ‘local’ (local is about 20/25 minutes away) town there was a ‘techno party’ event happening and asked if I wanted to go. I decided that I might as well go and I went home to get washed and changed before meeting them. Then after the most pathetic (but humongous) argument with my mother about electricity, in which both the internet and power was childishly switched off, I managed to get out of the house. I met them in Lidl car park – oh the class – and I then discovered that my driver’s side window had broken. It doesn’t really go up straight and then, when it does, there are massive gaps either side where it doesn’t slot into the right place anymore. I managed to get it to shut and now I need to remember to never open it again. Ever. Can’t afford more car expenses.

When we got to this techno place, it was pretty hilarious. There were probably about 200 people in this event hall. Two DJs at the back of the room facing the ‘crowd’ and about 20 people throwing themselves around at the front of the stage. If you don’t know what ‘techno’ is, it’s like a couple of hundred electrical appliances having a huge fight. It’s just like a load of beeping really. The nice thing that came out of going to this embarrassing night function was seeing two of my good friends that I hadn’t seen since I was 12. Guillaume and Antho. We all decided after an hour or so that we had had enough of the beeping and that we would all go back to Alice’s house. I was going to go home as it was about 1 o’clock and Fumel isn’t far from where I live, but I guess I just realised that I’m 18, not 80 and that it would be nice for me to actually socialise with people, even if it was past my bedtime..

I ended up going to bed about three: my eyes weren’t staying open anymore and I couldn’t speak without yawning. I tried to sleep for as much of this morning as I could, and managed to stay in bed until one, so as to not have to wait for them to wake up. I honestly don’t remember the last time that I’ve felt so drained and tired. Now I am sat in Alice’s parents’ house waiting for them to wake up. I think they’re still sleeping (it’s half past three).

Oh well, c’est la vie.

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